I hope he doesn't lose the keys

Flick the beermat

Beermat flicking game.

Wacky Uses

Little-known uses for household products.

Where is Toby

Yet another chancer trying to cash in on the Save Toby bandwagon.

Student Survivor

Create and look after your very own virtual student.

Or let them starve and live in squalor.

Give yourself a new name

With the random name generator.

Reality

Send a message and see it displayed on a monitor glued to a wall.

Exercise Your Eyes

Clinically proven.

So it says.

He's not going to stop running

And she's not paying attention.

Can you pass the British citizenship test?

The government has published Life in the United Kingdom, a 150-page book for prospective British citizens. If you want the passport, you'll have to read the book and then answer 24 questions drawn from its contents.

Ketchup stain sparks e-mail flurry

Is ketchup an innuendo?

Lucy in the sky with diamonds

Has sadly died.

Two faced kitten born

A cat with two faces.

Surgeon weds his crash patient

A surgeon who had to tell a 15-year-old girl injured in a road accident that she would never walk again has married her 25 years later.

Woman sets house on fire

For the second time in two days.

I couldn't eat a whole one

Fake Winning Lottery Tickets

Here's a sure-fire way to lose friends.

CorpSpeak

CorpSpeak memo generator.

PledgeBank

Tell the world “I’ll do it, but only if you’ll help me do it”.

The Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator

Don't waste any more of your valuable time digging deep into the depths of your soul to tell your family off.

Better Buttocks

The only website dedicated to the surgical improvement of the buttocks.

List of country name etymologies

How countries got their names.

Excellent curmudgeonly quotations

Witty quips, creative insults, cunning put downs.

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

This test is for entertainment purposes only. It is not meant to be a substitute for a real IQ test.

The Gross-Out Quiz

This quiz contains information that you might rather not know.

Random Frog Generator

Ribbit.

Outlets Pull Alanis CD

Alanis Morissette is causing quite a stir for choosing to sell her latest release, the tenth-anniversary, acoustic version of her blockbuster Jagged Little Pill, exclusively through Starbucks in North America. As of yesterday, the CD is available for its first six weeks only at the coffee chain's cafes. In response, HMV Canada, that country's largest record retailer, has removed the native Canadian's entire catalogue from its shelves.

Isn't it ironic.

Man tries to rob beauty school

Gets a good beating with curling irons.

Teen tries to vault fence with his hands cuffed behind his back

With predictable results.

Super efficient drug-testing machine tags politician

The efficiency of a high-tech drug-testing machine unveiled in Britain was amply proven yesterday when the government minister showing it off tested positive for cannabis.

However, the politicians were keen to stress that such was the power of the device, positive results could easily come from so-called "cross contamination," for example by touching cash or a door handle previously handled by a drugs user.

So what's the point?

I guess that counts as a hit

Mousebreaker

A load of flash games.

The Grapple

The sweet distinctive flavour of grapes combined with the crispness of a fresh, juicy apple.

Apples are dipped into a combination of pure water and grape flavouring for a short time. They are then moved into cold storage for a few days while the flavour takes hold. After which they are packed and shipped out to grocery stores.

If you don't fancy that, how about an onion you can eat like an apple.

Need an excuse

Try the Excuse List.

Complete your evil plan

Simply fill in your answers and get ready to call your press conference.

Laser Turntable

Play vinyl records without a needle.

Nice, but not cheap.

Looking for a billionaire?

Find one near you.

Do you want your child to be a Champion Cyclist?

Get a Carrababy.

The Carrababy Baby Carrier should not be used when you are doing "wheelies" because the child may fall out. This would mean you'd have to turn around and pick her up, and you'd lose a lot of time that way.

The new miracle drug in China

Cigarettes.

Man pulled out of reservoir 3 times

This is a fine tale.

Edit: Thanks to the Grumpy Troll for pointing out you now need to login to read this. It's changed since earlier.

Email : bugmenot90@mailinator.com

Password : bugmenot

British drug dealer has assets confiscated

29 pence (53 US cents).

Are they making soup?

One Free Minute

One Free Minute is a mobile sculpture designed to allow for instances of anonymous public speech. When you call the cellphone inside One Free Minute, you get connected for exactly a minute to a 200 watt amplifier and speaker.

Make your dog look stupid

With a Humunga Tongue.

List of people widely considered eccentric

From Wikipedia.

Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Job Predictor

What job should you really be doing.

Five New Ways to Tie a Tie

For today’s newly minted corporate lackey.

Or why not get a Zydeco tie with thimbles.

Christian panties

From Miss Poppy.

A machine with a personal touch

It looks at you, listens and talks to you and even nods yes to you .

It just doesn't seem right

Jesus Juice

What the Wacko one didn't give to children.

The smallest park in the world

It's not very big.

'Grandpa Gang' convicted

Robbing banks at their age.

Homeless Japanese gangsters terrorise Tokyo parks

A 61-year-old man living in a tent village in a Tokyo park says that he has to pay 2,000 yen to 3,000 yen a month in protection money.

Woman Wins $1M Lottery for 2nd Time in '05

Twice!

What A Talent

How to make prison wine

Just in case you ever needed to know.

Another jape by Steve, of Steve, Don't Eat It! fame.

Small World Project

Can you connect via the six degrees of separation.

Are you Addicted to the Internet?

I scored 57%

You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.

Well that's a relief.

Phaic Tan

For too long now Phaic Tan has been closed off from the outside world, a country visited each year by just a handful of hardy travellers, aid agency workers and hostage negotiators.

The guide to shooting rubber bands

I didn't know it was so complicated.

99% of women are against comb-overs

I can't think why.

Noises

In different languages from Bzzzpeek.

CitiKitty

More toilet training for cats.

The age old question as to why men have nipples

They've found the answer.

(Just in time for Fathers' Day).

Duped laptop buyers sold sack of potatoes

You get what you pays for.

Sex Lies Milkshake And Murder

And then she wrapped his body in an old rug.

You Tell Me

Think of a number

Between 1 and 10

Multiply it by 2.

Add 5.

Multiply by 50.

If you've already had your birthday this year
Add 1755.

If you haven't had your birthday this year
Add 1754.

Now subtract the 4 digit year you were born.

You should be left with a 3 digit number.

Cover up the last two digits with your finger.

The first digit is the number you thought of.

And you can never lie about your age.

Because it is under your finger.

Cakes

By Mike.

And very impressive they are too.

Coal Train

This is what happens when a coal train with an overheated wheel bearing stops on a wooden trestle bridge.

Rock Stars Real Names

Here.

ScreamBody

A portable place for screaming.

Could a snake devour a whole kangaroo?

Yep.

Contains a gallery of thumbnails showing a snake eating a kangaroo.

Office in a Bucket

It's an office. In a bucket.

Caught short?

Now you can pee your pants in style.

The Top 10 disgraced celebrities?

I can think of worse.

Intoxication 'rife among doctors'

The BMA estimates one in 15 doctors could be abusing drugs and alcohol.

Hormone Spray Is Found To Bolster Trust in Others

Oxytocin.

Blimey

It appears someone posted this picture from here, sometime on Saturday evening on this Icelandic website. It seems to be the link that says Svekk?

This has resulted in over 1650 visitors from Iceland since Saturday evening. Iceland only has a population of 294,300.

I don't think many people strayed from that page, mind.

Wish You Were Here

Word Wiggle

A game that tests your vocabulary and spelling skills.

Theophobia

The fear of religion.

Nemester

Nemester is an online community that connects paranoids, egotists, villains, and monomaniacs through networks of competing agendas and incompatable ideologies for bitter conflicts, mutual loathing, or to find their one, true nemesis.

The new way to make enemies.

Cluster Ballooning

Have you ever dreamed of being carried into the sky by a giant bouquet of colourful toy balloons?

Well now you can.

Ruler Fooler

Twang.