Saturday, February 11, 2006

Rust Bucket

Needs some work

Love Pants Messenger

The clever people at Eclectech have come up with come up with something for Valentines Day.

Ding dong.

Book of Numbers

World Press Photos

Guitar amps made from toasters

Eric Conveys an Emotion

I posted a photo of this guy the other day but wasn't aware of where it originated.

Samantha Burns posted a link to it and via the power of the comments section I discovered this site.

You request an emotion (or reasonable facsimile) and Eric will try and act it out for you.

Does my ass look fat in these pants?



Take a picture of your ass in the questionable pants, send it here, then people can let you know.

40-metre profanity spotted from space

Not your average crop circle.

NSFWish.

Human skull found in airport luggage

Man spiked colleague's drink with anti-freeze

Keith Lamb added two inches of anti-freeze to a bottle which had an inch of cola left inside it because he had become "sick and tired" of Martin Bingley drinking his cola without asking and wanted to "teach him a lesson".

Martin Bingley is now blind and deaf.

Horse chasing dog ends up in swimming pool

It took 18 firefighters and members of the Humane Education Service an hour to free him.

Giving The Finger To Yobs

Revellers to be fingerprinted before being served a pint.

Dental News

A Nottingham woman has flown to Poland for dental treatment because she says she cannot afford to go to the dentist in the UK.

She travelled about a thousand miles to go for the appointment in Lodz to get two fillings done.

"I'm not scared of flying but I am a bit nervous of seeing the dentist."



Also, the Reverend Tony and his ministers embarrassed by the sight of long lines of people trying to sign up for an NHS dentist have come up with a simple solution.

They have banned queues.

Trebles all round.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Oh What Fun

Reverse Bounce

Left = Right. Right = Left.

Shooted Cupid

ShutterFreaks

Teddy Girls from 1955

Bad Designs

Things.

Designed badly.

How To Build A World Class Home Distillation Apparatus

For under $100.USD.

Happy Fun Song

By an American college band called SOJH.

I know nothing about them, I just liked the lyrics.

Weave your own Tartan

No Bend Toenail Clipper

For people living large.

More products for the larger lifestyle here.

Creators of My Little Pony

Create realistic, life-size pony.

The BUTTERSCOTCH pony will amaze kids and adults alike with her level of “awareness” and realism. She can move her head up and down, and back and forth, and her eyes open and close. Sensors enable BUTTERSCOTCH to respond and interact with the child. When her mane is brushed, a child will hear contented whinnies. When her ears are tickled, she will turn her head and try to find you. When she gets hungry, she’ll happily “eat” her very own carrot. And, when she’s had enough, she’ll shake her head to let you know she’s full. Petting her muzzle will cause her to sniff!

World's 100 Sexiest Hotels

For 2004-2005.

Allegedly.

Woman in Staffordshire unblocks drain

Discovers black octopus.

"I prodded it with a stick and then I got my nine-year-old son to sort it out."

Sports goods shop shut down for renting sex dolls

The shop owner, during questioning, confessed to the officials that it was "good business".

Man fills balloon with oxyacetylene

A would-be Super Bowl reveller thought he could fill a balloon with a welding gas and blast it at a party, instead it exploded in his car, busting out windows, bending doors outwards, and pushing up the roof about a foot.

More here.

With photos and video.

Time Machine

Judge shelves case over Jesus' existence

An Italian atheist lost his legal crusade against the Catholic Church on Thursday when a judge rejected his attempts to sue a priest for saying that Jesus existed 2,000 years ago.

But instead of granting him his request to bring the case to court, the judge recommended magistrates investigate him for slandering priest the priest.

Pet Fish Attacks Man

"I was just screamin,” Kevin said. "I just remember her stinging and then I remember crawling around on the floor."

Not realizing how serious his situation was, Kevin dialed his girlfriend Karen at work.

“All I heard was screaming”, Karen said.

With video.

Icy squirrels menace roads

British motorists made claims last year for everything from a frozen squirrel crashing through a car windscreen to a cow jumping on a quad bike.

In one unfortunate incident, a driver claimed he was unable to slow down because a potato was wedged under the brake, while another blamed a flying, frozen kebab for damage.

Frozen raccoon thrown through window

Ice-skater saved by the skin of her teeth

Literally.

As frostbite set in her hands, the only way she could manage to keep her head above water was to hold on to the broken ice with her teeth.

Cold Remedy Blamed For Loss Of Taste, Smell

Zicam's No Drip Liquid Nasal Gel.

"Excruciating, very excruciating".

Smoker denied surgery because he's a smoker

37-Pound California Woman Gives Birth

Eloysa Vasquez, 38, suffers from Type 3 osteogenesis imperfecta, a disorder that makes bones soft and easily broken.

With photos.

Man jailed for life for throwing slipper at judge

Senior lawyer Mahesh Jethmalani said: "The punishment is excessive but the accused's conduct is unpardonable".

Burglar Eats, Watches TV and Checks E-Mail

Lori Menzel of the town of Kewaskum said the burglar left his Yahoo account open after checking his personal e-mail on the computer at her home.

"He never logged out".

Wacko Down On His Uppers



The first clue that this was the case was Wacko's travelling last week from Bahrain to Germany, and then on to Italy — on commercial flights in business class. There was no more private plane.

"Wacko is essentially bouncing around the United Arab Emirates looking for handouts".

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Rocker

Waaa

Think someone is too good looking?

Change that with The Uglifier.

Select these organisms in order of increasing size

Photograph of the Week Gallery

I hope this makes you feel better

International Ginger Kids Foundation

We are people too, even if we don't have souls.

With apologies etc.

Lose that beer gut without giving up beer

Valentines Performing Pigs

Create your own Dubya speech

Troubled by ticks?

Try the Tick Twister.

Runaway

All his worldly goods

Win $1,000 With The Geocentrism Challenge

Anne Summers name new blow-up doll "Mustafa Shag"

Unfortunately, Mustafa was one of the names given to the Prophet Mohamed. Bestowing it upon, in the words of its catalogue, "an inflatable escort for your hen-night adventures" is considered highly offensive.

World's first million-dollar coconut tree for sale

This is no ordinary palm tree, it's a botanical marvel, for the tree has three heads instead of one.

Not on eBay.

Treehouse in New York

A property-line dispute between a builder and a lifelong Bronx resident is in an architectural stalemate - with a live tree right in the middle of a cinder-block wall of a new house.

With tiny photo.

Wounded U.S. Soldier Charged For Damaged Body Armour

A former U.S. soldier injured in Iraq says he was forced to pay $700 for a blood-soaked Kevlar vest that was destroyed after medics removed it to treat shrapnel wounds.

Man celebrates his golden wedding anniversary

Kitten Goes Undercover in Vet Scam Probe

Have you seen this man?

E-fit

A crime victim has criticised a police e-fit of a suspect saying although the thief had an unusual appearance he "didn't look that odd".

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Rope

zZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz

Six year-old outsmarts Scouser

This is a clip from the tunnel before the recent Chelsea v Liverpool football match.

The cheeky little Chelski mascot goes to shake hands with Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard.

Shake hands?

Be my anti-valentine

This year, don't say it with flowers: say it with bile.

Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain

Playing Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Vertical

Mouse.

Keyboard.

Strange.

Jesus Christ Superstore

Putting the fun back into fundamentalism and the laughter into sectarian slaughter.

JesusPets

The End Is *Really* Really Near This Time

Hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, wars, tsunamis, you name it.

If you're a Christian, you've got a big problem on your hands. After you're swept away to walk the streets of gold with Jesus, red hot lava is going to pour from Mt. St. Helens and right over your dog, leaving his burned body encased for millennia until discovered by godless alien archeologists. And what do you suppose they'll do to his charred yet supple and hermetically sealed haunches? They are godless after all. (What would you do? That long space voyage sure can be lonely.)

JesusPets has the solution. For a modest fee you can live for eternity relatively guilt-free knowing a JesusPets animal lover
took care of your dog for the rest of his or her natural life.

Viz 'Top Tips'

Wacko Jokes

A massive page full of them.

As I'm sure you'll understand, anything concerning the Wacko one can veer towards NSFW.

Nothing Personal Ads - Dora Matt

Just because I've never had a relationship that's lasted beyond 37 minutes doesn't mean I'm easy.

Education: Graduated from college with honors and herpes.

Pull

The London Underground map using bands and musicians

Pointless but fun.

PDF doc.

Good to see Gregory Isaacs get a station.

How to Cook an Egg using two mobile phones update

Soldiers find block of gold worth $110K

In Iraq.

Being used as a doorstep.

Where will they start putting adverts next?

The white lines between parking spaces in car parks.

'Banned' Aphrodisiac Soda To Be Sold In Stores

The drink, called Turn On is made with guarana, ginseng and caffeine.

Clinics Pay Addicts to Stay Off Drugs

Man In Tiger Suit Climbs Lighthouse

Protesting against paedofiddlers.

Arcade Claw Offers Live Lobster Prizes

$2 a go.

When a lobster is caught, the restaurants cook it for free and serve it with side dishes.

New species found in Papua 'Eden'

An international team of scientists says it has found a "lost world" in the Indonesian jungle that is home to dozens of new animal and plant species.

With photos and video.

Unhappy? Then it's time to begin a blog

Revealing your innermost feelings on the interweb is good for you, psychologists said.

Sod that.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Cat

Miaow

Winky Tiki Photo Hunt Game

Spot the difference with pin-up photos by Octavio Arizala.

Pipping Australia - The official site of Pipping in Australia

What’s the essence of Pipping? It’s pure passion, It’s thumb vs. thumb, It’s dexterity unrivalled by any other sport.

Welcome to Pipping Australia.

The videos are interesting.

Monk-e-Mail

Create and send your own Monk-e-Mails.

Here's one I made earlier.