Wednesday, June 04, 2014

Best-laid plans

Duba the bulldog tries licking her chest


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Man attempting to simultaneously smoke cigarette and blow nose burned down house

A home in the community of Silver Valley in North Carolina was destroyed after officials say a house fire started when a man smoking a cigarette tried blowing his nose.

Officials said it happened at around 3am on Monday at a mobile home. Authorities said the tissue caught fire when the man smoking attempted to blow his nose.



He reportedly tried stomping it out, but couldn’t and the fire spread. Silver Valley fire officials said the home was fully involved by the time they arrived. A man and woman who lived there, both in their 60s, got out safety, officials said.

The fire was out by around 5am. The home is said to be a total loss. The fire marshall is investigating, although it is not said to be suspicious. The American Red Cross is assisting the victims.

Angry woman threw cat poo and frozen chicken breast at cancer charity fundraising runners

Police in Seattle arrested a woman after they say she threw cat poo, frozen chicken parts and a green liquid at runners participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on Sunday morning.

Officers working in the area of the run at around 9:30am reported seeing a hail of garbage fall from a fifth story apartment. Police said a runner in his 60s using a walker was hit with green liquid. A 13-year-old girl was hit with a frozen chicken breast, which left a welt on her skin.



Officers found a bag filled with refuse including 5 to 10 pounds of used kitty litter. Police knocked on the door of the apartment where they believed the trash had been thrown and initially the woman inside refused to answer the door.

Eventually however police said the woman told them she had worked a long shift and was angry at the runners who had woken her from sleep. Police also asked what the green liquid covering the man in the walker was and the woman reportedly said it was “superfood” - a natural drink. The unidentified woman was arrested and could face assault charges.

Woman arrested for stealing cheese, socks and a Bible

A South Carolina woman was arrested on Saturday afternoon for stealing a Bible.



According to police, Frances Thomas, 33, was spotted by a store employee placing the Good Book in her purse while she was inside the Spartanburg branch of Walmart.

Thomas also allegedly stole some cheese and socks After departing Walmart, Thomas was corralled by loss prevention officers, who later turned her over to police.



She was cited for shoplifting and booked into the county jail, from which she was released on Saturday evening. The Bible and the other items “were recovered and are resellable,” officers noted.

Police investigate after woman allegedly assaulted sister-in-law with catfish

Police in Lufkin, Texas, are investigating an alleged assault where a woman said she was slapped with a fish by a family member. According to Sgt. Mike Shurley, Lufkin police were called out at around 2am on Sunday Morning.

"The argument allegedly started because a female put a catfish in her sister-in-law's face," Shurley said. "An argument then ensued between the woman and her brother, which turned physical.



"According to the brother, his sister slapped his wife in the face with the fish ,and he told her to leave, and eventually she did." Shurley said that the woman told police that her brother had been beating his wife.

Shurley said that the brother claimed any marks his wife had were from her trying to break up the fight. No arrests were made at the scene. "Due to lack of independent witnesses and conflicting stories, the case has been forwarded to the Criminal Investigation Department for further investigation," Shurley said.

With short news video.

Man who purchased penis enlargement device online received a magnifying glass

A Malaysian man who purchased a penis enlargement device online received a magnifying glass instead of the device he thought he had purchased.

Malaysian Chinese Association Public Service and Complaint Bureau chairman Datuk Seri Michael Chong said that the disgruntled customer, known only as Ong from Seri Kembangan, had paid RM450 (£83, $140) for the penis enlarger.



“When he received the package, he was shocked to find a magnifying glass inside. The instructions that came with the package merely read ‘Do not use in sunlight’,” he said. Chong said that Ong was one of many who have fallen prey to online scams of this sort.

Lawyer Alex Kok said that unsatisfied customers who wished to sue these scammers would find it difficult to do so due to the dubious nature of the business. “It is especially hard if there is no proof of purchase, such as receipts. We wouldn’t know who to sue or where and how to sue them.”

Remarkable tale of lost Australian book that turned up 66 years later in New York bookstore

A book called Magic Australia, presented by a wounded WWII veteran to his little girl and then lost, has worked its magic across the globe and the decades to find its way back home to her.



Betty Fowkes’s father, George Wardley, gave her the book as a present when she was 11, lovingly inscribing it: “To Betty, from Daddy. Christmas 1944.” Betty, now an 80-year-old great-grandmother, believes she lost the book about four years later when the family moved out of their home in the Northcote suburb of Melbourne, Australia.



Sixty-six years later, Ms Fowkes heard the author, Nuri Mass, mentioned on a radio broadcast, and asked her daughter, Liz Crooks, to look up the book. “For some reason the name rang a bell in my addled brain,” she said. Ms Crooks started hunting for a copy online to give to her mum.


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Ms Crooks tracked down five first editions around the world. On further inspection through an American seller, New York’s Austin Book Shop, she realised one was the very same book originally given to her mother. It remains a mystery how the book found its way to a small bookstore in New York.

Man who punched police horse while wearing only underpants and one sock avoids conviction

An Irishman sleeping off a hangover just before he punched a police horse twice while wearing only his underpants and one sock has been placed on a good behaviour bond with no conviction recorded. Colm James Keogh, 31, pleaded guilty in the Adelaide Magistrates Court to one count of disorderly behaviour over the incident in Adelaide, Australia, last December. Keogh was originally charged with ill-treating an animal and two counts of assaulting police but those charges were withdrawn.



During sentencing submissions, Keogh’s lawyer, Con O’Neill, said he had been at a Christmas party earlier in the evening at the Hilton Hotel - but “not the posh Hilton”, his lawyer said. Mr O’Neill said his client remembered getting in a taxi then finding himself in his underpants and wearing one sock, “sleeping it off”. Mr O’Neill said Keogh next remembered mounted police telling him to wake up and get dressed. He said Keogh admitted to punching a police horse and had a swollen hand in the morning. “It’s unusual and it’s bizarre even but what it wasn’t was a deliberate action by a man who’s thinking straight,” he said.

“He looks back with shame and embarrassment. He’s from a culture which loves horses.” Mr O’Neill said Keogh spent eight hours in custody and had been “humiliated by the whole experience”. He said his client was a tall and shy man - “a gentle giant” - and his actions weren’t deliberate. “Perhaps it all got out of hand,” he said. Mr O’Neill said Keogh had trouble with binge drinking but hadn’t had any alcohol since the incident. His actions were not malicious and he had “just lashed out” He said Keogh may not be granted permanent residency if he had a conviction recorded.



The police prosecutor said the incident had left police horse Viking with “no lasting impact”. Magistrate Paul Bennett said there was a need for deterrence and there was a serious aspect to the offending. “You accept that you were very intoxicated at the time,” he said. “But there’s no excuse for you in the fact that you were so intoxicated. It was in fact a shameful thing for you to do.” Mr Bennett said Keogh had been seeing a psychologist since the offending. He said there was good reason for him to suspend the sentence and imposed a 15-month good behaviour bond. He ordered Keogh pay court costs, prosecutions fees and the victims of crime levy.

Grandmother jailed for sexually assaulting young man and threatening to blow up filling station

A 47-year-old grandmother from Northern Ireland has been jailed for nine months for sexually abusing a young man after she forced herself on him, grabbed his bottom and told him that she loved him. Caroline Irwin, of Lisnaskea, County Fermanagh, also threatened to blow up a filling station while holding a petrol pump in one hand and a cigarette lighter in the other. She denied the sexual assault charge but failed to turn up for her trial and was convicted in her absense. Irwin was also ordered to sign the Sex Offenders’ Register for seven years.

The victim of the sexual assault had described how, on November 2, last year, he received a text message from a woman telling him to call a her house to collect the £10 she owed him for cutting her lawn. When he got there Irwin was in the house. The woman asked the young man to carry Irwin’s bags to a waiting taxi. The man described how Irwin told him he had lovely hands and as he walked out the door “she grabbed me by the backside, four of five times”. As he continued on out through the garden gate “she tried to give me a love bite” on the left side of the neck. He described how he moved his head to prevent Irwin from giving him the love bite. “She tried to snog me but that didn’t work either,” he added.



He said he told her: “Please stop. I don’t like this.” The man explained how Irwin put her arms around him and tried to snog him, telling him: “I know you very well and I love you.” However, the man told the court “I didn’t know her at all” and that he pushed her away. District Judge Nigel Broderick said he was entirely satisfied that the man had given a “credible and reliable” account of what happened. He convicted Irwin of sexually assaulting the man. Irwin admitted being disorderly at Swift’s Supervalu at Main Street, Lisnaskea, and threatening to destroy a fuel pump. The court heard that Irwin stood with a petrol pump in one hand and a cigarette lighter in the other shouting: “Get your children away. I’m going to blow this place up.”

There were several members of the public and staff in the area at the time. Defence barrister Steffan Rafferty said Iwin should be given credit for admitting all the offences except for the sexual assault. Mr Rafferty described Irwin as a woman who "hasn't been without her troubles. Her primary problem is alcohol consumption and the company she has been keeping hasn’t helped. It was a fire she wasn’t able to get herself out of.” Jailing her for a total of nine months, the District Judge told Irwin the sexual assault on the young man was aggravated by the fact that the injured party had to come to court and give evidence. He added that the incident at the filling station "when you quite dangerously took a fuel pump and had a cigarette lighter and threatened to damage" the premises would have been of "great concern to anyone who witnessed it".