Tuesday, December 18, 2007

In memory of Kirsty MacColl

Who was tragically killed seven years ago today.

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In this very rare video, she performs 'Miss Otis regrets / Just one of those things' with The Pogues.



Justice for Kirsty.

Surprised 92-year-old reads her own obituary

Anne E. Hathaway was somewhat shocked Friday when a friend called to see if she was still alive.

The Orono resident’s obituary had appeared in Friday’s Bangor Daily News. The information in the short obituary and the list of death notices was correct, except for the part about her being dead.

The deceased was actually Ann Hathaway of Bangor.



Both women had made advance funeral arrangements at the same funeral home. When pulling the file for the deceased Ann Hathaway, the funeral home employee didn’t realize there were two women with very similar names and grabbed the wrong one.

At 92, Hathaway admits she’s no spring chicken but said that she’s not dead yet

"I just laughed," Hathaway said. "I went to the pearly gates and opened the door and they didn’t have any strawberry shortcake and they didn’t like the way my hair looked."

Fearless giant rat discovered in Indonesia



"The giant rat is about five times the size of a typical city rat", said Kristofer Helgen, a scientist with the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C.

Wacko's face stuck together with tape

Looking like he stepped off the set of "The Mummy Returns," Michael Jackson took his three kids shopping on Friday at a Las Vegas Barnes & Noble.



More photos here.

Pink bikini gets serviceman jail

A Singapore national serviceman who sashayed into a lift early one morning wearing only a pink bikini has been handed a day's jail and a S$11,000 (£3,700) fine by a court.

Tan Wen Zhong, 21, admitted to five charges, including "outraging the modesty" of the woman who shared the lift with him and "fraudulent possession of women's underwear."



A subsequent police search of his apartment turned up 46 pieces of women's underwear and bikinis as well as four obscene films.

Tan, who was completing Singapore's mandatory national service when he committed the offence in April, was also accused of grabbing a 23-year-old woman's buttocks a year ago and of shoplifting a pair of sunglasses two years ago.

In mitigation, Tan's lawyer said his client had been badly affected by his parents' divorce during his formative years.

Fake Indian government office issued birth and death certificates

A fake government office has been discovered in northern India that collected taxes, provided civic services and even handed out birth and death certificates.

An office was set up outside Jhansi town in Uttar Pradesh state and 20 people were employed to carry out jobs such as street sweeping.

Officials believe the operation originally started as a scam to collect fees from residents in return for one municipal janitor.

But the leader of the operation, named as Shyam Valmiki, allegedly branched out, opening a functioning office that employed a team of janitors.

Secret squat above glitz and glam

A group of enterprising Italian tramps set up camp inside the world's most glamorous shopping arcade.

The 10 tramps constructed an extraordinary home in the attic of Milan's Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, just a few floors above the seven-star Galleria Townhouse hotel, where guests pay £2,500 a night.

They were discovered three days ago during a routine security check of the service areas of the building, which houses flagship stores such as Prada and Gucci.



But no one noticed anything unusual at service entrance 11, even though the tramps had hauled a refrigerator, a washing machine and a kitchen sink up to their seventh-floor hideaway.

The utilities were illegally connected to the water pipes within the building but the tramps had to use the lavatory at a nearby McDonald's.

The police discovered two dormitories packed with clothes, sleeping bags and empty beer bottles. The tramps have now been moved on. The council said it intends to brick up the attic area

Junior football strike to keep parents in line

Fistfights among spectators, pitch invasions, insults hurled at the referee, vitriolic hatred between rival camps: Italian football is no stranger to the curse of the hooligan - even when the players on the pitch are only eight years old.

The pitchside behaviour of parents has become so bad, however, that teams at a club near Empoli have registered their disapproval by refusing to play. A one-day strike on Sunday gave the rival sets of parents something to think about.



"We have had terrible language used against refs in front of the kids for penalties not awarded, we have had pitch invasions, and even a punch-up between a father and a referee after a game," said club director Michele Mango.

So scared had the boys become before kick-off they demanded action, and Mango announced the strike at last week's Christmas dinner for parents. In the stunned silence that followed, the boys filed on to a stage, holding aloft banners they had prepared bearing messages such as "No to bad language, Yes to kids having fun" and "Parents: don't argue, let us play".

Mango placed some of the blame for the behaviour on Italian television's obsession with replaying mistakes made by referees after Serie A games. "Fans think they have a licence to attack the ref," he said.

Doctors quit dirty NHS for India

The influx of thousands of Indian doctors into the National Health Service is going into reverse. Hospitals in India are now said to be cleaner and better equipped than many in Britain and doctors are quitting the NHS to work there instead.

The director of one of India’s biggest private hospital chains said he was receiving five job applications a week from NHS doctors and that half his 3,000 consultants were from Britain.

Doctors say they are moving to India because of its economy, state of the art equipment, higher standards than the NHS and a better quality of life. In particular, they say hospitals in India, which many Britons still imagine to be impoverished and dirty, suffer less from hospital-acquired infections such as MRSA.

India has no equivalent of the NHS but there has been a boom in private hospitals that resemble luxury hotels, with marble foyers and corridors mopped by an army of liveried cleaners.

Pavement sex teenager sentenced

A teenager who simulated sex on a pavement in the Scottish Borders has been put on probation for 12 months.

Steven Marshall, 18, of Woodstock Avenue, Galashiels, admitted a charge of public indecency on 17 June.

Selkirk Sheriff Court was told how he got into a press-up position with his trousers down on his home street and simulated sexual intercourse.



The court heard Marshall was "very ashamed" and it was decided not to put him on the sex offenders' register.

Mark Harrower, defending, told the court that Marshall had an arthritis condition which required medication and had been drinking to excess.

"He does appear very ashamed about it and very shocked at his behaviour," he said.

Red-faced firefighters have to call 999

Firefighters had to call 999 – after getting stuck in a lift (elevator). The three men from Southsea fire station had been fitting smoke alarms in a high-rise block of flats when they had to call for their colleagues after the lift jammed.

A crew from Copnor fire station had no idea who was trapped until they found another fire engine parked outside Copperfield House in Wingfield Street, Buckland, at 2.50pm yesterday.

Copnor watch manager Craig Sadler said: 'We had a call come through to rescue persons trapped in a lift – it's a normal call for us. 'But when we arrived and realised what had happened, I admit I had a wry smile.'

Southsea crew manager Chris Rogers and firefighters Richard Furse and Lawrence Mackrell were stuck beneath the seventh floor.

Mr Sadler said: 'Chris is normally very calm and collected, but on the other side of the fence, having been stuck in a lift for half-an-hour, he was agitated to say the least. 'It certainly won't be forgotten.'

Mr Rogers, 35, said: 'I was slightly red-faced and I wouldn't be able to report some of the comments that were made.'

Monday, December 17, 2007

Please be gentle

Here's a drunk man walking into an invisible wall

Breakfast with Johnny

A demonstration of budgie table manners.

Police used helicopter to buy doughnuts

A week or so ago, police in Albuquerque used a police helicopter to buy a box of doughnuts from Krispy Kremes.

In the audio below, a man made a series of humorous phone calls to a local police station regarding the incident.



If he'd made similar phone calls in the UK, I'm pretty sure the police would have been round to his house like a shot.

Some musical animated gifs



A thread from yesterday's b3ta board.

Inventor had to prove toilet worms were happy

The inventor of a worm-driven composting toilet in New Zealand had to prove the worms were not traumatised or stressed by their task before council bureaucrats would approve the system.

Coll Bell, who invented the "wormorator" as an alternative to septic tanks, was told by an Auckland Regional Council staff member to get an expert's report on the psychological impact on the worms after she became concerned during a site visit.



"She felt that the worms were being unfairly treated, being expected to deal with human faeces, and that it could affect them in a psychological way," says Bell. "I said, `Well, what do I do about that?' and she said `you have to have someone with the necessary qualifications to say the worms are happy'."

The ARC was satisfied after vermiculture consultant Patricia Naidu reported the worms were in excellent health and breeding happily.

Amy Winehouse just goes from bad to worse

Actually it's Pete Burns.

Pete Burns

Click for the very NSFW uncensored photo.

Man crafts pens from cow patties

One cow's excrement is one man's fine writing instrument.

At least it is for John Lopez, 42, who began making his South Texas Cow Patty Pens six years ago with local, natural materials.



He perfected the process through trial and error. The end result: flecks of brown suspended in a clear plastic, looking almost like wood from a distance.

His original brand name for the pens included a vulgar barnyard term, but it offended customers and other vendors at craft shows, so he retreated to the safer "South Texas Cow Patty Pen." The finished product goes for $45.

Horse rescued from icy well

Emergency crews spend hours in near freezing temperatures trying to rescue a horse trapped in a well. Three Boone County teens spotted the distressed horse fighting to keep his head above water.

Struggling in frigid temperatures a horse named Beau floated in an old spring well for about four hours on Friday. His owner, Linda Smiley, watched helplessly as rescue workers tried to pull the four-year-old horse from the icy water.



After hours of waiting, a crane finally hoisted Beau to safety, but he's bloodied and seriously wounded - still his owners think he'll be okay.

Beau's worst wounds are on his legs - he has serious tendon damage. He'll stay at the Carmargo Hunt Club in Burlington where vets will care for him.

You can see a longer video with commentary here.