Friday, February 15, 2013

Elderly man arrested after being spotted sucking dildo in car

On Monday morning, a Michigan police officer reported to a park in response to a 911 call about “a subject in a silver car sucking on a dildo.”

Upon investigation, Sergeant Steve Allen with the Trenton Police Department located a Ford Fusion being driven by a 67-year-old man whose name has been redacted from an incident report.

Peering into the vehicle, Allen “saw a flesh coloured dildo lying on the passenger seat.” During questioning, the man admitted that he was “sucking on a dildo.” He added, “I’m sorry.” The pensioner “admitted to having a problem with sex toys,” added Allen.

The dildo aficionado was arrested for disorderly conduct in a public park and booked into the Trenton jail on the misdemeanor charge. He has 10 days left to appear for arraignment in District Court. The dildo was confiscated and tagged as evidence.


BoS said...

"dildo aficionado". That's a phrase that's going to stick with me for awhile, I reckon. Took me a couple of weeks to get "butt-plug connoisseur" out of my, er, head (don't ask).

arbroath said...

Heh heh!

Anonymous said...

Only a young journalist would refer to 67 as "elderly."

arbroath said...

The use of the world elderly was mine.

And I would hardly describe myself as a journalist. Nor indeed, 'young.'

Barbwire said...

If you believe that 60 is the new 40, then maybe elderly isn't apt. However, from the more advanced age of 71, I think "elderly" is more polite than "old".