Police called after sex shop refused elderly lady a refund for farting and kissing noise vibrator

When a sex shop wouldn’t refund her for a vibrator an elderly lady in Germany became angry and called the police. On Friday morning the woman asked for an officer to come and meet her in a sex shop in Cologne’s Innenstadt district.

When the police received the call, they thought it was a joke. But two officers were sent to the scene to see what the fuss was about. The unnamed lady was demanding her money back for a sex toy she wasn’t happy with, but the shop was only offering her store credit so that she could buy another.



But the woman claimed that the toy was malfunctioning and found it ridiculous that she couldn't get a refund. “The vibrator cost €169.90 (£145, $190) and makes electronic noises, but they are much too loud!” she complained. “After assembling it at home, the thing started making noise that could be heard all over the house,” she told the officers. “I can’t use something like that.”

According to the police report, the elderly lady found “the suction function and fart and kissing noises were too unerotic for her.” But the shop claim they demonstrated the toy to her before she bought it, and the noise of the instrument hadn’t been a problem back then. In the end, the police were unable to help the woman because no crime was being committed.