Shit happens, as the increasingly widespread American expression puts it, but if you aggravate Sharon Osbourne it may happen in a particularly targeted and personal way.
The wacky queen of TV talent contests reveals that she takes an unusually intimate revenge on critics who rile her, especially if they attack her and Ozzy's family.
Offenders can expect a beautiful box from the New York jeweller Tiffany's shortly afterwards, but inside it there are no diamonds but something only Mrs Osbourne can produce. Fighting giggles, she says: "I must have a thing, not about shitting, but about sending it to people. I've done it for an awfully long time. I suppose I find it funny."
Osbourne admits being something of a revenge specialist, a trait which may be inherited from her father, Don Arden, a music impresario and self-styled gangster, who reacted to bad news by threatening to kill whichever of his associates or relatives he considered responsible.
Osbourne's scatological variation on the theme, however, was her own. She describes in a new book how she mixed it with Ozzy's cannabis to try to break his habit, then added it to her father's most precious ornament when he stole from her. She says: "I mean, I don't just do it to anybody. They have to have done something really bad."
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