Parents urged to show jobless graduates tough love

With graduate unemployment at its highest for more than a decade, the lure of the parental nest has never been stronger. But mollycoddling mothers and fathers should resist the urge to make home too comfortable for their recently qualified offspring, according to government guidance.

A manual published yesterday instructs parents to show a bit of "tough love" as they try to encourage their children to get a job. That means making them do their own washing and ironing, emptying the fridge of student-friendly snacks and cutting back on handouts.

The guide, produced by the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills, also has blunt advice for those with lofty ambitions. "Yes, some people will make it as actors and scriptwriters," it says, "but many just waste away the years."



"Do" and "Don't" lists aim to help anxious parents "motivate not alienate". Dos include allowing your child to relax once they graduate – though a few weeks with their feet up should not slide into a few months. Parents should also arrange a regular update of progress.

On the don't list is perhaps the worst sin: nagging. "It might work in some circumstances, but most young people want a job and know there is a lot of competition," the guide says. "Nagging can make young people feel more stressed and makes failure to get a job worse".

There are times when it doesn't pay to be "too supportive". "Sometimes, it really is necessary to show tough love," says the guide. "If you are making life too comfortable at home, why would they get a job? If you are providing free board and lodgings, a well-stocked fridge, washing and ironing done, plus an allowance, there's not much drive there. So cut back to help increase their motivation."