Penis map shows different words used around the UK

An interactive map has been launched to show which words to describe the penis are most often used where in the UK. Rolled out as part of its health campaign to get men talking about their genitals, Lloydspharmacy’s www.icallmine.co.uk map highlights the fact that 'Old Man' is a popular way for Londoners to reference their 'parts', while 'Todger’ and ‘John Thomas’ are more often pulled out in the Midlands and Wales respectively.

According to the pharmacy's research, the majority of men in Northern Ireland use the proper anatomical term when describing their privates to their doctor, while only 55 per cent of men from the North tell it how it is. Welsh men apparently favour the decidedly polite ‘private parts’ and ‘down there’.



'While men are willing to tell us what they call their bits anonymously in a poll, they find it much more difficult to talk to medical professionals about intimate concerns,' commented Dr Thom Van Every, Lloydspharmacy's online medic. 'As doctors, we are well accustomed to talking about personal ailments so there is no need to be embarrassed.'

Other geography-based genital highlights of the map include the fact that inhabitants of northern Scotland often refer to their willy as 'hooded bandit', central Scottish dwellers prefer 'satter spatterer' and Northern Irish men harness the delightful term 'meat thermometer'.