About 10 pieces of clothing, valued at between $1,500 and $2,000, were damaged, according to the report. The man told police the woman was just a friend and was visiting him from Turkey. She declined to press charges over the damage. The man also told police that he was separated, though not divorced, from his wife, who lives out of state. Reached later by telephone, the man's wife allegedly acknowledged to Wilmette police that she had damaged the clothing — and that the two are still married, talk on the telephone several times per day, and have lived separately because of their work situations.
The woman said her husband told her he was travelling to a business conference, but she became enraged when she discovered he was vacationing in the Caribbean with another woman. She told investigators she flew from the East Coast to Chicago on Friday, took a cab to the home she still co-owns with her husband, and was shocked to find that her husband "had hidden everything that would reveal he was married."
She found the other woman's clothes in a closet, cut various items with a pair of scissors, put them in a suitcase and left it in the home's driveway, she told investigators. She then spent the night with a nearby friend before flying home the next day. Since the woman whose clothes were destroyed refused to sign a criminal complaint, no charges were filed and the case is considered closed.
6 comments:
I don't understand. Why did she take revenge on her if she thought the husband had hidden his marital status? And why would the other woman just leave it be? Solidarity? She understands and would have done the same? Is this a woman thing my simple male brain is unable to grasp?
I imagine she's refusing to press charges because she doesn't want to be named and have to tell her side of the story in court. There are myriad possible reasons for that: She's ashamed to have been having an affair with a married man. She's married, herself, and doesn't want to be caught cheating. She didn't know the man was married (he had hidden all the evidence of his status), and she's angrier at him than at the wife. She just wants the whole thing to be over.
OK, those things I can understand, but the wife's actions are still a mystery to me.
I don't imagine she was thinking rationally at the time, but here are a couple of reasons I can think of:
(1) Seeing as she was still technically married to the guy, she probably didn't want to damage his possessions, as that would affect the value of their shared property.
(2) The girlfriend's belongings had been moved into the marital home. It's not particularly rational, but at some primal level she probably wanted to "evict" the intruder. The placement of the belongings in a suitcase on the driveway says, "Get out!"
(3) Damaging the girlfriend's clothing communicates a threat of violence. Our clothes are among our most personal possessions and are closely connected to both our bodies and our personalities. Cutting out the crotches might specifically communicate a condemnation of the other person's sexual behaviour or maybe a desire to de-sexualize that person (kind of like symbolically neutering them).
I agree that it would have been more rational for her to direct her anger towards her husband, but, as I say, she might not have been at her most rational right after discovering his betrayal. And she probably still loved him, whereas the girlfriend was a total stranger to her.
Thanks, cath. That all makes sense. I mean in the sense I can imagine someone thinking like that. What I can't imagine is having my own rational mind so overridden by emotion. Maybe I'm just not passionate enough as a person or maybe my life is simply too uneventful and I'm simply unaware of my own potential. On the other hand I don't actually want to experience being so crotch-cuttingly angry. I'm curious but that's scary.
Yeah, it is scary. Although she didn't directly harm or threaten anyone, her actions could be considered violent.
I've been lucky, too. I've never been that angry (nor even close), but I've never had occasion to. I think my disposition would incline me more toward self-pity and self-blame (so... weeping and wailing and consuming copious quantities of alcohol) than anger and vengeance. Hopefully, I the drinking would be public and the wailing private, and if I cut up my own clothes, no one would ever know but me.
Post a Comment