Man sues Close Up toothpaste after failing to attract a woman

In what could prove to be a major embarrassment for Unilever Nigeria Limited (UNL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the company, which owns the Close Up toothpaste brand, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Close Up toothpaste for over seven years. Close Up advertisements suggest that the product helps men to instantly attract women by just breathing out.

Anthony Olatunfe, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used Close Up tubes to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products. Mr Olatunfe was pushed to take this step when his female boss slapped his face when he tried to kiss her after brushing his teeth with Close Up toothpaste. “Where is the Close Up effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years.



“Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my breath. I always brush my teeth with so much Close Up gel to make sure the girls get turned on by my fresh breath as they usually show on TV. “ Mr Olatunfe claims that he had been using the toothpaste as per the company’s instructions since he first bought them.

He argued that if he couldn't experience the Close Up effect despite using the product as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products. “I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I brushed my teeth morning and night. I did everything they instructed. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my toothpaste, as they had instructed to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a slap from my boss.” Unilever has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice.