The budget chair has been taking the pig to meetings as a prop. In an impassioned plea for its return, Councillor David Shiner said: “He was saving very hard for our budget with that pig and it’s hard to balance the budget without it. It definitely was a member of council that may have been asked to collude with it and hide it somewhere.” Security footage is being reviewed. There are 44 suspects.
The pig, which goes by the alias Mini Mike, was reportedly last seen on the desks of Councillors Michelle Berardinetti and Chin Lee, Shiner said. Speaker Frances Nunziata vowed she would ask the integrity commissioner to investigate. Jonathan Goldsbie, a city hall pundit, says he feels unsafe at 100 Queen St. W. following the afternoon theft. “It was just there. And then it wasn’t. It could be any one of them,” he said. “I’m going to have to watch my stuff more closely.”
YouTube link.
Suspicion immediately fell on Councillor Adam Vaughan, an outspoken leader with ties to council’s left-wing gang. “I’ve never stolen a pig. Although I have Irish ancestors who were sent to Australia after stealing horses from the British army,” he later admitted. Others rose in council to question the budget chief's supervisory skills. “If the budget chair can't take care of a pig, how can he look after a budget?” asked Joe Mihevc.
Many thanks Cath!
3 comments:
The far-right brain in action:
1 - Lose small item of little worth.
2 - Immediately suspect anyone who is left-leaning in any way.
3 - Start to distrust everybody, regardless of political affiliation. Paranoia levels skyrocket.
4 - Plot ways to kill everyone they every meet, just in case they have to/want to.
Unsatirizable. This would be an _Onion_ piece just as it stands.
Lurker111
There's a big art festival on here (Toronto) right now, and it's tempting to think this is a performance piece by city council. Sadly, this lot couldn't cooperate with each other long enough to pull that off, so it must be sincere. Sigh.
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