Priests call for Bible thief to be struck down with the runs

Priests from a church in Italy have called for an unknown thief who has stolen valuable Bibles to be struck down by a crippling bout of diarrhoea. In a rather un-Godly call for vengeance, the Franciscan priests at the church in Florence are praying that a dose of "the runs" will convince the unidentified pilferer of the error of his ways.

"We pray that the Good Lord will visit a strong bout of the trots on this thief and that this will help to convince him not to commit any more thefts," reads a sign put up by clergy at the Basilica of San Salvatore al Monte, a hilltop church which commands views of the Renaissance city.



The notice said that in addition to praying for a sudden loosening of the bowels, the priests were also hoping that the thief will repent of his crime and return the stolen holy books. Two prized Bibles – one of them donated by a wealthy benefactor – have been stolen in recent days from the church, which is located near Piazzale Michelangelo, an esplanade with an impressive panorama of Florence and the River Arno.

They have been replaced by two new Bibles – one in Italian and the other in English. "The language used by the brother who wrote the notice may not have been very clean, but the Lord, and the faithful, will understand," an unnamed priest said. Just in case the Holy Father fails to grant them their prayer, the priests have also taken the precaution of reporting the thefts to the police.