Against my better judgement I'm going to try to explain a few things, but I have to stress what I'm going to say is not me feeling sorry for myself, or moaning, but simply by way of explanation.
In my earlier life I spent a fair amount of time living very happily in third-world countries, where people with nothing were happy and smiley. During the hedonistic Eighties I worked in advertising and managed to buy a house. I never really furnished it mind, initially I had just a cooker, fridge, second-hand TV and a mattress. Obviously over the years I acquired other 'necessary' home fittings. And I've moved a couple of times. The first time leading to terrible long-term implications regarding my state of mind. (Bastard neighbours). Also, as time has passed, I've become the most non-materialistic person I know.
There are, however, certain material things that are pretty much essential in a cold climate. As you may or may not know, for the past year or so I've had no heating or hot water in my house. Subsequently the place is always cold and a few days ago I was caught in a massive rainstorm and got soaked to the skin. Also, as I revealed four years ago, almost to the day, my only pair of footwear now leak. Well, only one of them, actually. The other one's fine.
Anyway, I ended up with a stinking cold and then the day before yesterday I woke with a weird infection in my eyelids. They were both really swollen and I was literally seeing stars. I couldn't focus on anything. Thankfully that has now cleared up significantly.
Back to the materialism, I have an old car worth a few hundred pounds, that costs an absolute fortune (relatively) to insure and tax etc., via the power of my credit card. A few weeks ago I was doing someone a favour when a water hose blew off and I think I've cooked the engine. I managed to get it home, but now it won't start. I'm not totally sure I've cooked it, but my one-armed mechanic friend was recently almost killed in a car crash in Belgium and I've been unable to contact him.
So I have this car sat outside that goes nowhere, otherwise I'd go out and buy some kind of electrical heater. Also, ironically, my fridge freezer refuses to turn itself off and is potentially a fire hazard, so I've had to unplug that. Thankfully my computer still works, though perhaps I shouldn't tempt fate.
Things are a little more complicated than I've explained, but I think you'll get the gist. I must also again stress that this is simply by way of explanation with no underlying overtones, so to speak. I must have done something terrible in a previous life.
Once again, many thanks for your kind words. They are very much appreciated!
Kev
32 comments:
Kevin, this is just totally unacceptable. It's time to swallow your pride and reach out for some help. At the very least, get a decent pair of shoes from some charity and a wood-burning stove from social services or whatever, or get them to help you repair your heating. If worst comes to worst, sell your house and move into council housing where you'll at least have heat and hot water. You're not getting any younger, and I don't want you to end up as the protagonist of one of the bizarre stories you regularly post.
signed
Your Mum (not really, but Jeez, Kevin!)
Hi there, I've been reading your blog for years. I never had much idea of the person behind the posts, and though I still don't know very much about you, I am so sorry to hear you've been having such awful luck.
If you have a paypal account, I would love to donate a little something (perhaps you could post one of those "tip jar" things). I suspect you may hate this idea, but I wanted to offer. Your blog has very much enriched my internet experience and I have never paid a dime for it. Suddenly that doesn't seem quite right.
Please ignore this idea if it makes you uncomfortable, but know there is someone out there who appreciates all the work that must go into your blog. Probably many more than just me.
I am at spidercamp@gmail.com if you ever need someone to talk to. Take care.
Aww, Tsitsi,
If only it were all that simple.
The ridiculous bureaucracy here means I'm not allowed to try and help myself.
I'm not allowed to put some ads on here and see how they'd go, etc.
I've also been told that any possessions I may choose to sell, including my 12-year-old CRT TV should be reported.
And if I sold my house, I wouldn't be eligible for anything until I only had £3,000 left.
Then things really would be bad.
And yes, when they've finally brought me down, I am likely to be one of those people who was 'found several weeks later'.
Thanks Spidercamp! But really there are an awful lot of people worse off than me.
Kev thank you for sharing your story with us. You should know that you have many friends out there, people that appreciate what you're doing 7 years know. There must be a way to help you get out of this situation
Hello Kev,
Sorry to hear to hear that you are having a bad time.
Life's a bitch a times, I should know(I suffer from a number of serious long term illnesses), but there are things you can do to help yourself.
I'm sorry if this sounds patronising but these things helped/help me when I went/go through rough times.
As someone above said you must bite the bullet and reach out to family or friends for help of some kind. If you don't have much of either then there are charities that will help. No man is an island.
If you receive benfits of some kind there is usually some help available but you often have look hard.
If you don't work find yourself a cheap hobby that you enjoy away from the PC and pour some time and effort into it.
Take up some kind of exercise which includes plenty of fresh air. If you can combine it with the above suggestion then all the better.
Once again, I'm sorry if this sounds like rubbish to you but these things worked for me when I was at my lowest point. There is nothing like friendship, fresh air and exercise to help you cope with the daily grind.
And finally, get yourself a tip jar of some kind on the site. And get in touch if you need any more help with benefits or just a chat.
Steve.
Paypal button! Paypal button! I'd love to send some help your way.
Damn Kev, you do live a spartan lifestyle! A non-materialistic life is admirable but in my opinion we all need the basic necessities. Heat, a way to keep food cold... We all deserve a life that isn't a trial everyday.
Would there not be grants for repairing the house to at least have heat?
With hearing whats been going on I would advise maybe changing sites to somewhere where you can put ads. Or at least ad a link to a site where people can help out. I assume this would help with raising a few quid. Times are tough but none of like hearing you having it this tough!
This is my favorite blog. I look forward to it every day. I do believe that there are almost always work arounds and surely someone out there can help find a way for us to assist you despite all the obstacles mentioned. I know we can help somehow.
UNACCEPTABLE! Sorry, but this site contributes greatly to my daily wobble through life. I find it unacceptable that I cannot contribute back.
Don't be a nonce, and set something up for us to give back. There's a good lad....
Dude, your website is a staple of my everyday internet browsing, I love it!
None of us want to sound patronising, but it seems everyone does want to help you.
You know yourself your health must come first though.
As an actual Arbroathian and a schizophrenic (the two aren't related, honest) I know how low and lost and helpless it can seem at times and I also know things will get better in time, normally with help from outside sources. It would be nice to think that some of us could in fact live without possessions and material things, but when it comes to your welfare you need certain things. I also see you have helped others in the past and (I imagine) you feel the futility of their predicament. Don't let yourself be one of them, no matter how desirable (and Illogical) that may sound.
All the best now and take it easy,
Ryan
I, too, love your blog & would be willing to help if you would only let us know how. Would a "care parcel" help? Shoe size? Blankets? A kettle? As you contribute to my day, I would like to contribute to yours.
A concerned reader
Thank you for all your kind words, advice and offers!
I feel bad now, I shouldn't have said anything.
I'm sure things will sort themselves out.
Kev
Don't feel bad, you were right to have said something. Things will sort themselves out...but possibly with a bit of input from all of us who have posted support. Please let us show our appreciation in a useful way - Paypal or necessary items as suggested above. Let us know what would be the most useful way for you.
Sending you love and a hug. xx
Seriously man, people love this site and would love to help you out. You should let us. If anything someone can gift you a pair of shoes!
your blog provides me with a laugh and a smile daily. id send you a new pair of shoes, but i just got diagnosed with cancer for a second time, i'm not even 40 yet. what did we do in that past life?
I too would love to help you via pay pal or a postal box where I could snail mail you a wee something. I really enjoy your blog and hate that you are suffering so.
OK, here’s the thing. I have been asking for a paypal or other donate button for over a year. Now if you don’t freaking comply I am going to be forced to turn this over to the reddit community who will find out who you are and where you live and then, like has happened to Ai Weiwei, we will fly paper planes made of money into your courtyard. Or something like that anyway.
Kevin, I'm with everyone else: reach out and ask for help, please. I encourage the just previous Anonymous commenter to go ahead and get Reddit involved anyway, for a fear you are having a very tough time asking for, nevermind receiving it. Let us help you. Arrange for a taxi to ferry you to get a floor heater.
Give us the name and phone no. of the taxi company and we can pay for it. Same with where you get the heater. Same with where you get a new pair of boots. We can call and put it on a card. EASY!
Having the basics is not materialism. I'm the same way. I have very little furniture, and my tv is propped up on a stack of boxes. But I have heat and a working fridge. I'm on disability due to several health reasons. It was very difficult to put myself on it... my pride took a major hit over it... but I had no choice any longer. So, it can be done.
Having the basics will keep you from getting sick. Isn't your health worth it? We need you. I know I'd be bereft without my daily Arbroath.
I hope very much to see you post info that will help us to help you. We get by with a little help from our friends.
--a.
Can you get an anonymous post office box or something? Cash in the mail is hard to trace. :)
If nothing else, I hope the knowledge that you've brightened the lives of so many who start their day off with you warms your heart. Thanks Kev.
Yo Dude you owe us, your regular readers. Part of your obligation is to stay healthy, and provide us with a way to help you do that.
Seriously though we can help, even if it's the address of an alley where we can leave cash in a brown paper bag.
I knew I shouldn't have posted this.
The reaction is not what I expected. And certainly not what I intended.
I really was just wishing to inform.
Once again, many thanks for your kind words and offers. Not just here, but also the people who have emailed me.
Thank you! Hopefully I've declined politely.
@ Anonymous 7:50 PM, I'm so sorry to hear that. Very, very best wishes!
Kev, I'm all for letting people make their own choices, so I'm not going to advocate for sending in the Reddit ninjas, but I urge you to accept the help that everyone is offering. Problems that seem unsolvable can often be quickly cleaned up if the right people get involved.
Your RSS feed is the one I read first every day, and I would be heartbroken if it disappeared.
Given how often you are cited as a source by heavy hitters such as BoingBoing, I'm sure that some of the people reading this site have a lot more power to shift the buzzing swarm of the Internet than I do. Reach out, and I think you will find you have all the help you need.
Fair enough Arbroath, you are within your rights to refuse the kindness of strangers and with your replies I feel certain you are stable and content.
Keep up the good work and I hope things turn out well for you in the future and be sure to look after yourself.
Ryan :)
OK, OK, I hear you. But I do want to say that you have a wonderful, eclectic mix of posts on your website, and I would have no problem seeing adds linking to interesting products on the side. Check out Miss Cellania's website to see what I mean.
It's at http://www.misscellania.com/
Kev, I adore your blog and visit as much as I can. I believe that you should be rewarded for making so many people's day a little better. All the best, whatever you choose to do. And hopefully the rainbows are just around the bend.
Kev, you bring so much enjoyment to so many people around the world, please let us find a way to help you get the basics--a source of heat, a working fridge, and for heaven's sake, a pair of shoes!
Oh Kev, yes, you should have told us about what was going on with you and we're grateful you did; we care about you. Please, seriously, please, let some of us help you. If only to get you a taxi ride, a heater, a new pair of boots, and maybe some groceries. Please?
--a.
There is a lot of love around you Kevin. You somehow amass and distribute all these pieces of joy, humor, awe, sorrow, disgust, empathy, and knowledge-- which always in some profound way, increase our identification and understanding of the human condition-- Every day: Every goddamn fucking day Kevin, you do this. You gift this to us, selflessly. Selflessly- toward an anonymous assembly of strangers; Essentially, just fellow random humans-- yet you lift us up by somehow managing to lighten the ultimate burden of always feeling that we do not quite know or understand enough---when it is our desire to do so that is so strong, and you have found a means to so eloquently tap into that potential. And we return, every day, for our synopsis of the world as summed up by you, and we relish it. We do. I don’t think your modesty has really allowed you to see the worth & weight of the nourishment your page offers to the hearts and minds of your readers.
Each evening I know that when all is exhausted you will be there to tell me a myriad of information-- I am on the west coast of the states, & I know our timing is very different—yet it is always comforting to know that as the day comes to a close for me, a cache of smiles, tears, laughs, ahh-haa’s , or whats!?’s diligently awaits me. I have stayed up extra late tonight in composing this letter, but the consequences, I know, they shall be nominal in respects to this effort.
Forgive me for the personal address. I think it evident, especially as seen from the above posts as well-- we feel we know you. And in a grand sense, it is inarguable-- we do: Your spirit is reflected well in your work. This feeling of companionship and thankfulness is displayed by the well-wishers, the offerers of aid, the multiple suggestions of payment for a job well done, and most notably by the overwhelming gratitude felt by those you have been touched by your dedication. It goes without saying: Thank you, for a job well done.--And never doubt the extent of your impact Mr. Arbroath:) And please, as well, never feel it necessary to preclude the help of your friends.
Mandy
What Mandy said!
--a.
I hope you are mulling it over and will soon let us help you in a more concrete way. =)
The first thing I do when I wake up every morning is go to your website to see what you've posted. It's the "treat" I give myself before facing the day. Thank you so much creating this. I would also like to show my thanks in the way many of the others have suggested, with a donation of some kind. In the mean time, please know that you are much appreciated in this corner of the world!
Kevin, you have a remarkably uncluttered blog that has lots of space in the right sidebar for additions. It would be very easy to insert above the list of "links" a "donate" button.
Here's a link to the Paypal page that explains payment buttons -
https://merchant.paypal.com/cgi-bin/marketingweb?cmd=_render-content&content_ID=merchant/wp_standard
Click on the "view demo" link; near the end of the video they show the "Donate" button. Something like that would be unobtrusive, and knowledgeable oldtime readers would know what it's for.
You would need to set up a Paypal account if you don't have one, but that's not difficult to do either.
Best wishes.
Thank you.
For having such an awesome blog. For keeping your fans up to date. For being pretty amazing in the face of adversity (if it were me, the post would have been majorly NSFW).
And whether you like it or not, we want to help.
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